Inuyasha's Job
by Zouri
Summary: Inuyasha has to work at a construction zone. Everything is gonna be twisted now. Please R and R.


A/n: Yes. I finally finished this story. It took me a while but I'm done. Just so you know, everything in this story is twisted. So please read it and enjoy. And I don't own Inuyasha. Man I hate that.  
  
When anime characters get jobs  
  
Inuyasha  
  
Inuyasha was wearing a normal pair of jeans and a shirt instead of his normal clothes as he sat in a construction zone. "Why am I here?" Inuyasha shouted at the top of his lungs. "Oh calm down, Inuyasha" said Kagome as she walked over to where he was sitting. "You know that you have to have this job while you're in the present era" she said. "Can I at least have my old clothes back" he asked, still pissed that he had to do this while they searched for the Shikon jewel fragment. "Come on Inuyasha," said the monk Miroku, who was now wearing some ordinary clothes, "We all have to adjust to this. People have been staring at me for some time now because of the cover over my Wind tunnel." "Yes" Sango said wearing some of Kagome's mom's clothes and carrying Shippo in her arms, "This may not be comfortable, but it is style." "Well I'm with Inuyasha for a change" said the little fox demon Shippo, who was pretending to be the baby of Sango and Miroku, "These dippers or whatever are itchy. And why do I have to be a baby?"  
  
Kagome motioned for Shippo to be quiet and told him "You are to short for anything else now be quiet, baby's can't talk." Shippo crossed his arms and said nothing. Inuyasha was shocked, "When did you all get here?" "I got them yesterday," Kagome said. "We found a way to use the power of the Shikon jewel to get here" Shippo added, but Kagome made him keep quiet after that. "Oh well, so you here to help work then?" asked the dog demon. "Until the shard is found" Sango said. "Hey" the boss said, "The new construction workers are here." He walked over to Sango and asked, "Your not going to be working with your baby here are you." "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BABY" Shippo began to say, but Kagome stopped him and said "Oh no, I'm going to take care of him." "Ok, then as for you three, your first assignment is to tear down this building" the boss said. "I have to go and take care of some paperwork back at my office but I will return shortly" he said. And with that he left the five alone.  
  
Inuyasha walked over and looked up saying, "Wow, it is amazing that they can build something like this." Miroku walked over to him and said "Well, Inuyasha." "Well what" was his reply. "You could surely take down this building with a few swings of your Tetsiaga" Miroku explained. "Does it look like I have Tetsiaga here?" Inuyasha shouted at him. Miroku handed him the sword saying, "Kagome told me to hide it until we got here." Inuyasha took the blade and put it through one of the belt loops in his jeans and just stood there. Miroku stared at him for a while before he said, "Well, aren't you going to destroy the building with your sword." "I can't" Inuyasha retorted. "But why not" said the monk, "Surely it should be easy for you now that you have your sword." "Miroku, do you know the true source of my power?" "I always thought it was because of the fact that you are a half demon" Miroku stated. "No" Inuyasha replied. "Then it must be the Tetsiaga" Miroku answered. "No, it's the MC Hammer pants." The what?" Miroku said. "My baggy red MC Hammer pants. Without them I can't do anything" Inuyasha shouted. "Ooooookkkkkkkkk" was Miroku's only response.  
  
Miroku slowly walked back to Sango and the others. "Well since Inuyasha is having an inferiority complex....... " "I am not having an inferiority complex." Inuyasha shouted to them. "Then hurry up and take down the building" Sango shouted. Inuyasha just stood there until he finally slinked away in defeat. They all stared until Miroku had decided to speak up and said, "As I was saying, one of us will have to destroy this building." "Since I don't have my boomerang with me, I can't destroy this building", Sango stated, "But Miroku, your wind tunnel should do the trick." Miroku looked at his right hand and said, "Yes, I think it could destroy it." Miroku started to walk over to the building, unraveling the prayer beads as he walked. When he reached the building he took the beads off completely and shouted "Stand back everyone." The wind tunnel quickly demolished most of the building, having the rubble flying into his hand and being absorbed.  
  
Suddenly, a sharp piece of wiring flew towards his hand. 'No, I better close it, before it tears the tunnel's entrance.' He quickly put the prayer beads back on his hand, but the wiring cut his arm fiercely. Miroku feel to the ground, writhing in agony. Seeing this sight, Inuyasha came out from hiding. He walked over to Miroku, who was still writhing on the ground. "Hey Miroku, are you ok?" asked Inuyasha. Miroku had stopped moving now. Inuyasha picked him up and started to shake him rapidly screaming his name over and over. Kagome walked over to the two and asked the dog demon, "What happened to Miroku?" Inuyasha, who was now crying, replied, "Miroku is dead. Oh why. He was truly a king among men. I remember the time where we both went hang gliding." Kagome looked at him quizzically and said, "Inuyasha, you two never went hang gliding. You don't even know what that is." "Oh well that explains alot."  
  
Inuyasha shouted, "We have to do something quickly." Kagome pointed across the street and said "Well there is a hospital across the street. I'm sure they can help us." "NO" he shouted, "There's no time for that!" "Not enough time to walk across the street?" Kagome asked. Sango walked over and asked, "What are you all talking about?" "Oh Sango, your just in time, we have to save Miroku doing the one thing monks do best" Inuyasha shouted. "Oh, you mean pray?" "NO" he said "They only do that for show. We must question his god." "Wouldn't that only make him angrier and hurt all of us instead of helping" asked Sango. "WHY APOLLO, WHY?" "Inuyasha, I don't think Miroku worships the Greek gods, and besides, you're starting to make a scene" Kagome told him.  
  
True enough, he was making a scene, but what was also drawing the crowd was the new person that had arrived. Inuyasha looked up to see his brother; Seesho-maru. Seesho-maru had come and was wearing a cloak, covering what he was hiding. "How the hell did you get here" asked the enraged dog demon. "Using the power of the jewel, it was a simple matter. And today, my dear brother, I will finally cleanse this world of your half demon blood" he answered. "Yea, and how are you gonna do that, ya jackass" he taunted. "With this" he said, as he threw off his cloak. Inuyasha shouted "My kimono, and my MC hammer pants". He quickly jumped back and hid behind Kagome. Kagome looked behind her shoulder to see Inuyasha cowering in fear.  
  
Kagome asked him, "What are you doing. It's just your brother. You were never this afraid of him before." "That's because he didn't have my hammer pants" he retorted, "There's no way I can win now." "Inuyasha" Kagome said, now annoyed, "I'm gonna help take Miroku to the hospital with Sango, and your going to fight Seesho-maru like always." Inuyasha was clawing at her heals trying to stop her, but she got him off and left. Inuyasha got up, now trembling and he drew Tetsiaga from its sheath, but it would not transform. "There is no way you can win now" Sessho-maru told him as he drew Tokijin. Sessho-Maru quickly charged at his brother and gave a horizontal swing. Inuyasha ducked, and quickly ran away from him. Seesho- maru simply smiled, and used his sword's power to hit him. Inuyasha was hit in the back and was bleeding slightly, but quickly began to run again. Sessho-maru jumped up and landed in front of him and began to use the power of Tokijin.  
  
Inuyasha put up his sword to block the assault, failing miserably as it had not transformed. He was hit with the sword's power again and hit the ground hard. Inuyahsa jumped up and thought, 'Man, this is embarrassing. I not gonna lose to him.' He charged at his brother and swung down at his brother, but he put up his sword to create a barrier and hold him back. The two were at a stand still, the Tetsiaga could not break Tokijin's barrier. Suddenly, the swords flew out of their hands and went info the street. Inuyasha used his Iron Claws to try and strike his brother, but he dodged. His brother used his poison claws, but Inuyasha was able to jump out of the way. When he landed he noticed something was behind him. Sessho-maru charged at him again, readying his poison claws. Inuyasha rolled out of the way as his brother struck and he flew into a portapotty. Inuyasha quickly turned around and shut the door which forced the lock on the inside  
  
Kagome, who had come back after about half of the fight, asked "How will that help?" Inuyasha answered "Sessho-maru's claustrophobic." Inside, Sessho-maru was clawing at the walls, desperately trying to escape. "LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT" he screamed over and over. He aimed his poison claws at the roof of the portapotty and melted the ceiling. The hot plastic covered Sessho-maru's body and he ran off screaming in pain. Kagome stared until she came to and asked, "Why didn't your sword transform for you?" "Because I don't have my Hammer pants" Inuyasha explained. "What about all of that desire to protect someone makes the sword transform stuff?" Kagome asked. "Meh" was the demon's reply.  
  
"Well come on" Kagome said, trying to keep her cool, "Let's go see Miroku." The two left the construction zone and began to walk toward the hospital. "Kagome", Inuyasha said, "It's not that I don't care about you or anything, it's just that the sword only reacts to my Hammer pants." There was silence. Inuyasha became ticked, "Oh yea, like you're Miss-I-Care-About- Everything." Still Silence remained. "Ok Kagome look, I'm sorry. It's just.." Inuyasha turns around to see that Kagome isn't even with him. He turns to see a large crowd in the street. He quickly runs over to see what is happening.  
  
He makes it through the crowd and sees Kagome and Kikyo arguing. "Kagome, you are trying to steal Inuyasha, you bitch" Kikyo shouted. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH" the crowd shouted. "Kikyo, Kick yo ass is more like it. Inuyasha is mine damn it" Kagome barked back. The crowd gave another long "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH." "Well I'm gonna.. uh.. Ka-go-me you. Um...yea." The crowd remained completely silent until one person spoke up and shouted "What the hell was that?" Kikyo quickly drew an arrow and shot it at the man. The arrow hit him dead on and his soul slowly severed itself from his body. Suddenly, one of Kikyo's soul collectors came out and brought the soul to her and it was absorbed.  
  
"There's Inuyasha" Kikyo shouted, as she found him amongst the crowd. Kagome ran up to him screaming, "You're my man, right Inuyasha?" Inuyasha tried to find a peaceful solution out of this, "Well Kagome..." Kikyo smiled at this and shouted, "He is mine, just like I have told you." Inuyasha spurted out, "I didn't say that! Your putting words in my mouth!" "Well you have to chose one of us" they said in unison. "Um, ok" he murmured, "I choose, oh boy hear it comes, K.." Kikyo shouted before he could finish, "See, it was K for Kikyo." "That K was for Kagome and you know it" barked Kagome as she bitch-slapped Kikyo. "That's it, you ho" Kikyo screamed as she drew an arrow and aimed it at Kagome. "Bring it on." Kikyo lunched her arrow straight at Kagome but it was deflected by the Tetsiaga, fully transformed.  
  
"Oh, I see Inuyasha. That tramp means more to you than me?" Kikyo asked him. "What? No. I was only protecting her" he retorted. Kagome, seeing Kikyo doubting Inuyasha, decided to capitalize on this. "Oh, yea. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me. That's my man. You know he was really good in bed last Thursday night." "What are you talking about" he shouted, "What Thursday night and what's a bed?" Kikyo looked distraught, until she saw something whiz by. It was so fast, she couldn't tell weither it was real or not. Then it passed by again. "What was that" Inuyasha shouted. The figure stopped in the blink of an eye and said "Yo." "Koga" Kagome and Inuyasha screamed, "You mangy wolf" Inuyasha continued. "I wouldn't talk dog. So what, you're a pimp now?" he asked. "Tell me what a pimp is, and I'll say no" Inuyasha told him. "Whatever. I'm here for Kagome anyway" he informed him. He walked over and took Kikyo's hand saying, "Kagome you're my.. Wait a minute. You don't smell like Kagome, you smell awful." Kikyo slapped him, but then thought of something. "Play along" she advised Koga, "If you know what's good for you. Then you can have Kagome."  
  
The two stood up and acted like a couple. Inuyasha watched on, with a look of disgust growing by the second. "Get away from her" he finally shouted. Koga looked at him, "So this is the kind of woman you like, the dead kind." "Oh that's it" Inuyasha shouted. He took the Tetsiaga and swung it with all his might at Koga. Koga jumped up and landed on the sword. He rode it and then sprang forward to punch Inuyasha. He ducked and shot up, head butting Koga. Koga jumped back, quickly recovering, and went for a kick. The kick connected with Inuyasha's face and sent him flying into the hospital. He flew straight into Miroku's room. Inuyasha looked up to see Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and some other people, all starring at him. "This is a hospital. Get out if you aren't going to be quiet!" a nurse shouted. "Listen, lady" he shouted, "I just got launched in hear and I.." Inuyasha was cut off as Koga hit him and sent him through the other wall.  
  
Inuyasha landed in the street. 'Damn it all. That hurt.' He saw Koga staring down at him. 'Ok, I gotta think' he thought, 'How can I defeat Koga.' Koga leaped down the building and came running at Inuyasha. Inuyasha swung with all of his might downward, but Koga dodged to the right and hit him with his fist. Inuyahsa hovered over the street until he hit a stop sign. He got up, brushing off his wounds. He ran towards the Tetsiaga and tried to draw it out from the ground, but to no avail. "Damn it." He looked to his left to see Koga tackle him, instantly knocking him down. Koga then took his fist and drove it into Inuyasha's gut. He let out a loud scream as Koga punched him. Koga then jumped into the air and using the power of the Shikon jewel, drove his foot into Inuyasha stomach once again. He screamed, and then lay motionless on the floor.  
  
"Inuyasha" Kagome screamed as she ran as fast as she could. Koga cut her off before she reached Inuyahsa. "Well Kagome, looks like you staying with me" Koga told her, as he grabbed her arm. "I...don't..think...so." Koga turned to see Miroku, Sango, and Shippo all in a fighting pose. "This is all that's left" Koga asked, "A wounded monk, a weak demon slayer, and a raccoon?" "I'm a fox demon and you know it" shouted Shippo. "Whatever, anyway, I'm out of here." "Not without getting past us" Sango informed him. "No problem" Koga said, "Hey monk, these a strip club over there." "Really" said the monk, now interested, "Then I'm gone!" Sango shouted "Get back here you pervert!" "What was that" Koga suddenly stated. "What" Sango asked? "Kohaku just ran that way." Koga pointed behind her. "Kohaku, I'm coming" she screamed as she ran down the street. 'Me next? Oh boy. I get to be deceived!' thought Shippo. "Go play with Kikyo, raccoon. I'm going home with Kagome." Shippo, now full of rage shouted, "You can't just write me off like this!" "I just did" he said. He started walking away, dragging Kagome behind.  
  
"Let me go" she screamed. "Aw come on, we'll have a good time. You'll see" Koga said. Suddenly, Koga was hit from behind. Letting go of Kagome, he was launched into another corner. He looked up to see Inuyasha, but he was different. He had strange markings on his cheeks, much like a full demon's. Inuyasha charged and slashed his in his chest, causing Koga to fly into a building. "Inuyasha has reverted to his demon form" Kagome said aloud, "I have to get the Tetsiaga to him." "Nah, you better not." Kagome looked behind her to see Miroku and Sango behind her. "But why not and why aren't you at the strip club" she asked. "They closed down when they saw me coming" Miroku told her. "Well it's to dangerous to try and stop him" Sango said. "And" Shippo added, "If we let him fight to his heart's content, he'll sleep like a baby tonight. Then we give him the sword." "Will that work?" Kagome asked. "I don't know." They all stared until they heard Koga scream, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Save ME!" They all started to laugh as Inuyasha continued to rip Koga to sreads.  
  
"What? I can't have a happy ending" Kikyo voiced. They all starred at Kikyo intently. "Just go die or something" Kagome screamed. Just then Sessho-maru, still covered in plastic, came running down the street screaming. He rammed in to Kikyo and kept running, dragging her with him. "That'll work" Kagome announced. And they all continued to watch Inuyahsa kill Koga.  
  
Later that night, the boss finally returned. He returned to see blood, guts, and a wolf tail? The boss looked around to see the carnage that took place, "Holy crap, what happened here?" He looked up to see the building only half destroyed. "AWWWWW, come on. I mean, sure I wasn't gonna pay them but they could have at least knocked the building down." He looked around until something in the dirt caught his eye, "Huh?" He bent down and brushed around the area until he found a jewel. "What's this?" he asked himself. He got up off of the ground, "Oh well. Might as keep it."  
  
A/n: Ok. That's the end of it. Now if you want, you can choose what I write next. You have a choice between a G Gundam humor story, and a Digimon: The Movie humor story. If you want to tell me, just put it in the review. Bye. 


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